Winning a pool table was the only way I would be able to get one in the door of our home, since Mari would never approve such a frivolous purchase. She suspects (knows) I would play billiards and practice my trick shots for all of a weekend before I grew bored with it and then it would sit there like a ten by five foot lump of uselessness and constant reminder that she is (almost) always right. If a 50 square foot prize, delivered via TPIR and my superior game show skills, however, arrived on our humble doorstep, then what could we do but invite said lump into our home?
Remember that The Wicker Lounge, even with all its World Bazaar glory, was still only
(I can't believe I lived in an 84 square foot space!) twelve by seven.
All I really wanted,
to be completely honest,
was a lousy T-shirt.
Our experience began when we lined up at 11:00 AM along Fairfax Avenue outside the CBS Television City complex. The line on the sidewalk was already about 100 people deep, but we had reserved tickets thanks to my fanatical (2:00 AM on the morning of July 7th) internet persistence. Still, we didn't want to take any chances. Eventually (and in this case eventually felt more like an eternity), we walked through heavy velvet drapes into the lusciously loud and incredibly colorful Bob Barker Studio at 4:30 PM. That five-and-a-half-hour black hole of time was our audition process.
While you wait you are being watched and you are interacting with fellow future contestants who have also traveled from afar to celebrate anniversaries and birthdays and milestones public and personal alike with similarly silk-screened and cleverly colorful T-shirts.
Does anyone have a practical use for a
pontoon party boat?!
Next, your party is photographed at a "green screen" for a souvenir photograph like my jazz hands photo to the left and you are moved to the next holding area where you wait and mingle (and smile and chat everybody up if you want to be considered as a viable contestant). Next, you are lined up 20 at a time for a quick interview and screening with veteran TPIR producer Stan Blits. This is your one and only opportunity for a close-up slash audition, so DON'T BLOW IT!
I blew the interview. I'm fun, funny at times, and sincere. That almost-as-big-as-my-sophomore-year-dorm-room pool table was mine! For some reason, though, I stood there and smiled at Mr. Blits and answered his simple questions like any old unprepared non-DVR-recording-fan. "I'm from McAllen, Texas and I'm a high school librarian." I might as well have said, "I'm Lou and I'm an idiot. Don't pick me."
True, I was only asked two simple questions, but that shouldn't have stopped me from telling him I knew every rule to every game, knew the odds of winning every game, knew how easy it was to win $10,000 playing Pay the Rent the "safe" way, but that I was savvy to winning $100K by not playing it safe, that anyone can win Cliff Hangers by guessing $25 then $35 then $45 for the three prizes... Wait! You'll get no more insider super-fan secrets from me. I'll save it for next time.
Several more hours, "holding areas," and (thankfully) a snack bar await before you finally enter the Bob Barker Studio. Walking in from the back, I felt like I was entering Wonderland. There was loud it's-got-a-great-beat-and-you-can-dance-to-it music playing and everything was so freakin' colorful! The ushers were most methodical in their arrangement of colorfully-attired audience members and directed us to specific seats. It seems they were trying to balance T-shirt colors on a broadcast palette so there would be an even "mix" throughout the studio. Even after being seated, people were asked to switch seats until someone deemed the placement practically perfect.
Our episode aired Monday, December 12th. Given my own persnickety penchant for pre-planning, I'm impressed that a seemingly simple game show is prepared that far (nearly three months) in advance. That's a long time to keep a contractually-bound secret, especially if you win a car playing Let 'em Roll as did the really nice young man (Donovan, a youth counselor from NYC) next to us in line and first one up on stage. Mari and I were anxious to watch the episode (amateur screenshots at left) because there was so much we missed sitting in the audience.
It was nearly impossible to hear what was going on because it was just so loud in the studio. George's and Drew's microphones didn't seem to serve at the pleasure of the studio audience, but the home audience. That's why it sometimes takes a while for contestants to realize their name has been called. It's not because they are shockingly stunned, but because they must read their hand-printed name from a cue card (waved frantically by a page standing on stage) as George announces the name. We also found the studio and stage to have a cozier feel than expected.
The stage is not as big as it appears on television and at any point there are up to a dozen crew, pages, and ever-present contestant coordinator (AKA birthday-pool-table-dream-crusher) off to the side while Drew takes center stage. Even from our cozy perch near the middle of the back row, you couldn't see all the prizes that were being offered when they opened the doors on stage.
Between games, the audience is kept energized by thumpingly stimulating music, insider stories from a very funny George Gray, as well as questions and interactions from a very warm and genuine Drew Carey. For about an hour and a half you are transported to Game Show Realm, a colorful, loud, and frenzied fantasyland where everyone is deliriously happy with or without a new car.
This last photo is our afterglow view of CBS Television City (white building off in the distance) from a patio table at the Cheesecake Factory at The Grove shopping mall were it was wisely recommended TPIR contestants and future pontoon party boat owners park their car for the day. It took three glasses of tropical iced tea before my 50-year-old body rehydrated and I stopped seeing the impossibly bright colors of the Bob Barker Studio every time I blinked.
Birthday wish list experience and birthday cheesecake slice both crossed off the list.
A productive day if ever there was one.
We take a slightly less psychedelic, but ever refreshing respite next time.
I blew the interview. I'm fun, funny at times, and sincere. That almost-as-big-as-my-sophomore-year-dorm-room pool table was mine! For some reason, though, I stood there and smiled at Mr. Blits and answered his simple questions like any old unprepared non-DVR-recording-fan. "I'm from McAllen, Texas and I'm a high school librarian." I might as well have said, "I'm Lou and I'm an idiot. Don't pick me."
True, I was only asked two simple questions, but that shouldn't have stopped me from telling him I knew every rule to every game, knew the odds of winning every game, knew how easy it was to win $10,000 playing Pay the Rent the "safe" way, but that I was savvy to winning $100K by not playing it safe, that anyone can win Cliff Hangers by guessing $25 then $35 then $45 for the three prizes... Wait! You'll get no more insider super-fan secrets from me. I'll save it for next time.
Several more hours, "holding areas," and (thankfully) a snack bar await before you finally enter the Bob Barker Studio. Walking in from the back, I felt like I was entering Wonderland. There was loud it's-got-a-great-beat-and-you-can-dance-to-it music playing and everything was so freakin' colorful! The ushers were most methodical in their arrangement of colorfully-attired audience members and directed us to specific seats. It seems they were trying to balance T-shirt colors on a broadcast palette so there would be an even "mix" throughout the studio. Even after being seated, people were asked to switch seats until someone deemed the placement practically perfect.
Our episode aired Monday, December 12th. Given my own persnickety penchant for pre-planning, I'm impressed that a seemingly simple game show is prepared that far (nearly three months) in advance. That's a long time to keep a contractually-bound secret, especially if you win a car playing Let 'em Roll as did the really nice young man (Donovan, a youth counselor from NYC) next to us in line and first one up on stage. Mari and I were anxious to watch the episode (amateur screenshots at left) because there was so much we missed sitting in the audience.It was nearly impossible to hear what was going on because it was just so loud in the studio. George's and Drew's microphones didn't seem to serve at the pleasure of the studio audience, but the home audience. That's why it sometimes takes a while for contestants to realize their name has been called. It's not because they are shockingly stunned, but because they must read their hand-printed name from a cue card (waved frantically by a page standing on stage) as George announces the name. We also found the studio and stage to have a cozier feel than expected.
The stage is not as big as it appears on television and at any point there are up to a dozen crew, pages, and ever-present contestant coordinator (AKA birthday-pool-table-dream-crusher) off to the side while Drew takes center stage. Even from our cozy perch near the middle of the back row, you couldn't see all the prizes that were being offered when they opened the doors on stage.
Between games, the audience is kept energized by thumpingly stimulating music, insider stories from a very funny George Gray, as well as questions and interactions from a very warm and genuine Drew Carey. For about an hour and a half you are transported to Game Show Realm, a colorful, loud, and frenzied fantasyland where everyone is deliriously happy with or without a new car.
This last photo is our afterglow view of CBS Television City (white building off in the distance) from a patio table at the Cheesecake Factory at The Grove shopping mall were it was wisely recommended TPIR contestants and future pontoon party boat owners park their car for the day. It took three glasses of tropical iced tea before my 50-year-old body rehydrated and I stopped seeing the impossibly bright colors of the Bob Barker Studio every time I blinked.Birthday wish list experience and birthday cheesecake slice both crossed off the list.
A productive day if ever there was one.
We take a slightly less psychedelic, but ever refreshing respite next time.
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